i need an iv and a liver transplant
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
