it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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