Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
