So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
