We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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