I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
