i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
