before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
