ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize