Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
