Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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