I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
