I want to stick my p in your. b.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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