i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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