Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
barbara walters just said penis...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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