if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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