hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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