I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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