When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
