oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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