Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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