you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
