ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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