you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
