She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
