She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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