Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
