If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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