people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
