I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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