Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
