Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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