tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
