YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
