Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize