what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
