i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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