id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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