I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
