i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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