if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
