Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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