I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
