Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
