and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
