so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
