I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
