Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize