Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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