I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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