Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
