That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You are the jesus of drinking
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
