Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
