how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Randomize
