to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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