Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize