I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
