What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
