And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
