ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
