Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
