Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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