I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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