he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How does one acquire holy water?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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