I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
