He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
