I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm really busy with my period
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