like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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