I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
